Day 9: Beneath the Well, Castle Ikana, and Anju/Kafei
As scary as Beneath the Well was in Ocarina, it should be at least ten times as scary in this horrorfest of a game. But it’s not. It’s lame. Instead of Redeads, Gibdos, Floormasters, and Wallmasters around every corner, not to mention false floors and whatever else is in the Ocarina version, this is just a series of rooms connected by Gibdos asking for stuff – water, fish, bugs, etc. It’s tedious and boring (mostly because I never knew what they would ask for, so have the time I didn’t have it and had to go get it), but you get the Mirror Shield out of it, which is pretty good, I guess.
The Mirror Shield is TOTALLY creepy. This is what it looks like:
It didn’t have to look like that. Majora’s Mask uses the same sprites as Ocarina, and there’s also a Mirror Shield in that game. It looks like this:
So why the change? I don’t know, but it definitely fits this game, that’s for sure.
The Well leads into Castle Ikana, which is another tedious place. But at least it has Redeads, which are *always* scary. Getting to the throne room of Castle Ikana gets you audience with King Igos du Ikana, the former leader of the Ikana Kingdom. Or is that “leader of the former Ikana Kingdom”? I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter, because by “gets audience with”, I mean he sends two Stalfos Knights to kill you and when they fail, he – also a Stalfos Knight, but more like a Stalfos General, if there were such a thing – tries to kill you himself. When HE fails, the disembodied skulls of the Stalfos Knights and King Igos argue for a while and then the king teaches you the Elegy of Emptiness, which lets you leave behind statues of yourself. Here’s more proof that Deku Link used to be a real person, because Zora Link and Goron Link leave behind statues of Mikau and Darmani, respectively, while Deku Link leaves behind a Deku that doesn’t look like Deku Link *or* a Deku Scrub. It’s sad that we never get to learn this guy’s name.
One more thing: the Link statue has a weird-ass look on his face. I don’t know why.
I don't know what's worse: the eyes or the mouth.
I didn’t feel like tackling the Stone Tower Temple today, so instead I went to the Stock Pot Inn and tried to take care of some things there. I finally was able to get a room there, but the whole scenario is just awful. You have to wait until a Goron mailman(…I think?) shows up and then talk to Anju right before he gets to the counter. She’ll see your name is Link, the same as the Goron’s, and you’ll get his room. Then, thanks to a Goron speech tic that makes them end every sentence with “-goro”, Anju thinks his name is “Link-goro” and he doesn’t get a room. So he has to sleep outside. In the rain. What the hell.
Anyway, once you get the room you can spy on Anju and her mother through a crack in the wall – but just listening, no peeping, because that’s gross. If you do, you get to learn that Anju’s mother is a bitch and she’s accusing Kafei of running off with Cremia, the owner of Romani Ranch and Anju’s best friend. The mother also implies that she wasn’t happy being married to Anju’s father (who’s named Tortus for whatever reason) and that Anju shouldn’t make the same mistake she did. Except that Kafei is pretty cool, whereas Tortus sounds really lame.
During all this, I got the Keaton Mask from the Curiosity Shop guy for helping out Kafei and the Postman’s Hat from helping the Postman deliver a letter from Kafei to his mom, Madame Aroma (the postmistress and wife of Mayor Dotour and, therefore, the reason the carnival is happening instead of getting everyone the hell out of Dodge. But I digress). I’ll have to do all of that again to check off Madame Aroma and Mayor Dotour in my Notebook, but it’s pretty easy stuff, so it’s not a big deal. I missed my chance to help Kafei at Sakon’s, though, so I’d have to do it all again anyway.
Day 10: Finishing Up Some Stuff
I got a lot accomplished today. It was all small stuff, but it added up to get a good-sized portion of the game out of the way.
The first thing I did was take care of both Skulltula Houses. The Swamp House wasn’t too bad; the only real scary part was that the Skulltulas would pop out from all sorts of places, sometimes when you least expect it. But at least the place was brightly lit. The Oceanside House, though – well, it would’ve been right at home in Resident Evil. Poorly lit, poorly upkept (holes in the walls, broken bookcases, etc) – it definitely had a creepy aura about it. Nevertheless, I got the Mask of Truth from one and a heart piece/Giant Wallet from the other, which is a pretty good haul, I’d say.
Since I was able to hold 500 rupees now, it was possible to buy the All-Night Mask from the Curiosity Shop. But to do that, I had to keep Sakon from stealing the bomb bag from the Bomb Shop Lady. And I did…by straight up KILLING HIM. Not just killing him, but MAKING HIM EXPLODE. I didn’t mean to, I swear. He was running away with the bomb bag, and since I didn’t have a sword at the moment (more on that in a sec), I hit him with my hookshot. Which blew him up. This act right here singlehandedly makes this the darkest Zelda game ever made: You can kill a human. A human that’s not an enemy or an archvillain, just a run-of-the-mill thief. And doing so makes a relationship end in ruin. And STILL prevents the Bomb Shop Lady from getting her wares to her shop, which was the whole point of trying to stop him in the first place. It boggles the mind.
Another thing I did was make Snowhead turn to Spring again so that I could a) get a new sword from the Smiths and b) finally get the Goron Racetrack out of the way. If you give them your sword and 100 rupees, they’ll give you the Razor Sword the next morning – that’s the kickass sword seen here:
Unfortunately, the Razor Sword only lasts 100 swipes before it turns back into the Kokiri Sword unless it gets re-reforged. Which takes gold dust to do. Fortunately, though, the prize for winning the Goron Race is a bottle filled with gold dust, so that’s pretty cool. After another day of forging, the Razor Sword is turned into the Gilded Sword, which looks lame, but is actually pretty cool.
Finally, I noticed for the first time today that all the buildings are decorated on the inside with these huge, scary masks. Like, with giants fangs and stuff. I thought it was worth mentioning. Also, Clock Town people are totally racist (the Treasure Chest shop charges you differently depending on what race you are, and the Curiosity Shop only sells to humans) and the Curiosity Shop guy and the Trading Post guy are so the same guy: they look the same, except one's bald and the other has hair that looks like a bad toupee, they wear the same clothes and itch all the time, the Trading Post closes at 10 pm, which is when the Curiosity Shop opens, and on the third day - when the Curiosity Shop guy is waiting in Kafei's room all day - the Trading Post is being run by the Part-Timer. Not weird, not creepy, and not important, but an interesting tidbit that is just another example of how complex these characters' lives are.
To be honest, I was starting to get a little bored with these reviews because there hasn’t been super-creepy stuff in a while. But Sakon’s death completely reinvigorated my interest. And since I only have one temple and the moon left, I expect to get a full dose of weirdness soon.
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